The other day I thought, hold on a minute. Let's turn all this excess wood into something functional. I got two words for you: "talking sticks". This does not, as my daughter thought, refer to making sticks that talk. Quite the opposite, it's a system of respect and authority that the Native Americans used to keep order in tribal gatherings. Whoever held the "talking stick", had the word and with that everyone's attention.
Glory days. Imagine having your kids' attention! Ha. Win win. No brainer. Grab me those sticks, where's the paint, we're making ourselves some talking sticks. Better still, everyone can make their own personalised version. Being slightly autocratic, I chose the longest, fattest stick to decorate to make sure everyone knows when I'm holding that big boy. Bobby chose a two-pronged one - what do you reckon that means? We've yet to see whether or not the talking sticks work, but for now, I'm holding on to mine tightly. And if they don't, we can always move onto peace pipes next week.
What you need:
Top tip: If you've got some string or feathers kicking about, you can go crazy with your decorations. Anything goes, glitter, diamante, gem stones. Take it to the bridge. Make Beyonce quake in her moose-skin boob-tube.
Top quote: "You're short on ears and long on mouth," John Wayne